


A Different Path

by lara_s



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-06-01 01:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15132491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lara_s/pseuds/lara_s
Summary: The end of an Occupation.  Troubled resistance fighter Kira Nerys is out of a job and glad for it but unsure of her role in a new Bajor.  Deeply haunted and wanting nothing more than to put down the phaser for a while and lick her wounds, Kira turns down an offer to join the militia.  But when an enigmatic stranger saves her life and Kira is visited by a vision from her Prophets, she finds her path is still inexplicably intertwined with those on the space station orbiting her planet.This started out as wanting to write a Kira/Odo during the Occupation story and kinda spiraled from there into a 'how would the events of DS9 and the Kira/Odo love story play out if Kira was never on the station.'





	1. Chapter One

It was early morning, not quite dawn. Although planting season and warmer weather wasn’t too far off, nights on this part of Bajor at this time of year were still bitterly cold and the sun had not yet risen in the sky long enough to chase the chill from the air. Kira Nerys shivered, stomping her feet to get some semblance of feeling back into her frozen toes. Absentmindedly she tightened the threadbare cloak wrapped around her slim shoulders. The thin cloth didn’t do much to keep her warm but Kira, used to ignoring physical discomfort, hardly cared. She was far too absorbed in watching the scene playing out in front of her to take much notice of anything else. 

It seemed as if every Bajoran man, woman, and child left standing in Dakhar (and probably a fair number from the next province over as well) was gathered there, attention focused intently on the twenty or so spacecraft presently running through pre-flight procedures. 

For such a large group of people, the gathering was utterly, eerily, quiet. The only noise being the occasional rustle of movement or a hushed whisper. Anticipation hung thick in the air, almost a palpable thing one could reach out and touch. When it finally began, the unmistakable hum of engines revving up was clearly heard by all. The collective breath of thousands was held as the small fleet of ships hovered in unison just off the ground, suspended in air for a long moment, as if deciding whether to take flight or touch back down planetside.

The spell was broken when a phaser blast ripped through the air. Kira would later suspect Furell, but if it was him he never admitted to it. The discharge bounced harmlessly off the lead shuttle’s hull, resulting in an impressive display of sparks and fireworks but little more. “Get out of here before we do some real damage,” someone cried out. Silent no more, the mob roared to life rushing towards the launching pad as the last wave of occupying troops on Bajor sped off into the sky back to where they belonged.

*

The celebration immediately following the withdrawal, as could be expected, was one for the history books. Bewildered but enthusiastic Bajorans spilled into the streets, flush with excitement over their newfound and hard won freedom. In typical fashion, the Cardassians had laid waste to much of what they couldn’t take with them, but there was food and drink enough for a feast. 

As she made her way through the revelry taking place in the capital, the presence of one particular renowned resistance fighter did not escape notice although she would have much prefered to fade into the background of anonymity. Kira couldn’t miss the whispering and pointing in her direction. Snatches of conversation floated to her ear.

“She’s the one… Single handedly killed fifty spoonheads in one raid alone… Pulled my uncle and Prophets know how many others out of Gallitup even after being shot herself…” 

Decidedly uncomfortable with the praise Kira winced, pointedly ignoring the stares and comments. Or at least she did until one of her awestruck admirers managed to gather up the courage to actually approach. The bravado in his voice didn’t quite match the shaking of his hands as he offered her a drink.

All of a sudden, looking into this eager young man’s hopeful eyes, Kira felt a giant weight lifted from her shoulders. The Cardassians were really gone. The legacy they’d left, the practicalities of putting a broken world and broken people back together again, tomorrow those things would still be there. But right now, this very moment, was what she had been fighting for all her life and she made the split second decision that she was going to put aside her burdens for once and enjoy it. 

So where normally she would have declined such an invitation, this time Kira accepted. Reaching for the cup of potent spirits she drained it in one quick gulp. The alcohol burned through her with a delicious welcoming bite. Raising the empty glass in the air in salute, she grinned and let out a cheer. “To Bajor!” Her newfound friends placed another drink in her hand, then a third, and Kira let herself go succumbing to the overwhelming need to share in her glee with her fellow Bajorans. 

*

Freshly elected First Minister Shakaar Edon stood in the shadows of the balcony of his newly appointed quarters. Looking out over the party that was still going strong, he chuckled loudly hearing from somewhere below a rousing rendition of a popular and rather vulgar song about the various ways to kill a Cardassian. It took him a beat before realizing the familiar voice was that of his own right hand woman. She was drunkenly embellishing the tune with some new lines too. He had half a mind to go join in the debauchery, but with grudging concession to the role he didn’t particularly want but was taking on anyway, stayed where he was.

It would be enough to watch. It’s so good to see her like this, without a care and having fun. May it be the first of many such nights. And yet, his indulgent amused smile turned into a grimace as a wave of guilt swept over him. He was, after all, at least indirectly responsible for a great deal of Kira’s demons. The pre-teen waif who’d shown up at base camp all those years ago, demanding a chance to prove herself worthy of joining the cause, had barely been big enough to carry a phaser rifle let alone shoot one. 

_I should have sent her away to one of the safe houses up in the hills. Given her at least the chance to have a normal childhood. As normal as possible anyway._

Instead, Prophets forgive him, Edon had recognized the unquenchable fire and unrelenting determination in the scrawny slip of a girl’s demeanor and subsequently molded her into a finely tuned instrument of death and destruction. Intelligent, brave and with all that inner rage channeled squarely into fighting Cardassians, she was a scarily effective resistance member. One of his best. 

And together did they not accomplished their task? The end result, the liberation of Bajor, surely justified the means and cost to both their souls. He knew she felt the same, not that it made him sleep any easier at night. 

But now what? Unlike himself and his fanciful dreams of being a simple farmer, dreams he still clung to, he wasn’t going to be First Minister forever after all, Shakaar suspected Nerys had never let herself think about a life post Occupation. 

Why, just earlier that afternoon she had shaken her head in disbelief at his mention of a position within the provisional government. _“Me? On the council of ministers? I don’t think so, Edon. I’m no diplomat. That’ll be the day.”_ He could tell she’d been somewhat more intrigued by the offer of a military commission within the newly formed Bajoran militia, but for reasons unknown to him, she’d turned that one down too. 

He fretted over her like a mother paku with its offspring and yet, however things unfolded, whatever was in store for them, Shakaar had no doubt that with the assistance of the Prophets, Kira Nerys would find her way. Somehow she always did.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note - this chapter does contain a brief non explicit reference to torture/rape

The hawk soared gracefully through the air, rising and falling with the slight wind. The land below its wings laid fallow and long deserted, an angry scar on the planet itself left over by the Cardassians, but to the bird’s surprise, there was movement there. Curious, it flew closer to investigate.

A woman, crawling slowly on her knees, carefully making her way through the dust and debris of a mass of burned out ruins that had once made up a small village. Pausing briefly, she consulted the readings on the ancient old model tricorder in her hand before pulling a tool from her belt and softly sifting through the dirt. The round spoked wheel like object she painstakingly uncovered wasn’t much bigger than her palm but it gleamed intently with a sinister glow exposed in the bright sunlight. 

With a canny intelligence far surpassing that of any normal bird, the avian interloper knew immediately what this was. Bajor was littered with landmines such as these. Crude yet effective, Cardassians and resistance alike had planted the deadly things with abandon. One of the first revitalization projects put into motion by the provisional government involved disabling and clearing the mines so land could start being resettled.

Swooping closer still, the hawk was careful not to disturb the concentration of the one who deftly, with obvious skill and experience, was fast dismantling the now ominously ticking explosive. When the device failed to turn off as expected, both bird and Bajoran alike realized the danger at the same time. Rising to her feet, swearing loudly, earlier cautiously controlled movements no longer necessary, the woman flung the object away from her as far as she could and ran. 

_She’ll never make it_

The bird didn’t hesitate, shooting after the fleeing figure in an instant. The blast that came seconds later was powerful enough to send her crashing to the ground, but a golden shimmer of light quickly enveloped the woman’s prone body, shielding her from the worst of the burning bits of metal and rock that came raining down.

When all was clear, the other members of the demolition team came running to the aid of their co-worker to find her alive but unconscious in the arms of a strange looking man who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

* 

Odo Ital paced up and down the corridor, anxiously awaiting news of the woman he’d brought to the hospital and wondering at why he felt so personally invested in the outcome of her fate. 

_There’s been far too much senseless death around here as it is. That’s all. Anyone would be concerned. She’ll make it. The human knows what he’s doing._

Ironic really that he would place any faith at all in the man currently patching up yet another broken Bajoran. Odo had had his doubts about the fresh faced, starry eyed medical officer when they met three weeks ago. Though to be fair, the shapeshifter doubted everyone at first and the Federation in particular. But over the course of their temporary assignment, sent to assist with relief efforts on planet, Odo had watched Julian Bashir throw himself all in, going far beyond the call of duty spending countless hours treating an endless stream of horrific wounds and severe malnutrition among other things. Despite blanching more than once at some of what he was presented with and clearly shocked by the reality of the aftermath of the Occupation, the doctor had shown true compassion and was obviously good at his job. The hard to impress changeling had to admit he grudgingly approved. 

Finally, at last, a head poked out of the surgical suite, beckoning for Odo to come inside.   
“Second degree burns. A rather nasty concussion, some internal bleeding that we’ve neutralized for the time being, a broken left femur and four cracked ribs. She’ll be in a lot of pain when she wakes up and it’ll be a while before she’s fully back on her feet, but, barring any unforeseen complications to the healing process, she’ll be okay. Amazing, really. Setting off a landmine at close range like that… I don’t know what you did Odo, but whatever it was, if you hadn’t been there she wouldn’t have stood a chance...”

Bashir trailed off, interrupted by a loud commotion and the sudden appearance of none other than the First Minister of Bajor in the room. Taking in the shallow but regular breaths of the unconscious patient on the bio-bed, the Minister stopped short, whispering a soft prayer. “She really is alive. Thank the Gods.” 

Shakaar took a step back and shrugged, an almost bashful look on his face. “She’s the nearest thing I have to family,” he offered in explanation. “I came as soon as I heard. Though I suppose I should have known better than to worry. Nerys always has had a knack for making it through situations that would kill anyone else. Sometimes I think the Prophets themselves aren’t ready for her to join them in the Celestial Temple.” 

The First Minister frowned then and Odo was suddenly reminded that behind the affable seeming front was a man who had led a bloody uprising. 

“Nerys is reckless, yes, but she doesn’t make mistakes,” the Minister growled dangerously. “I find it hard to believe this was an accident. That bomb was meant to blow. Figure out what happened here and why, shapeshifter. That’s both an order and a personal request. And until we know for sure, I’m making you responsible for her safety in the meantime. I’ll inform the station of your absence until the matter is resolved.” Almost as swiftly as he’d arrived, the man headed back towards the door. “I need to get back to the council meeting. Keep me updated on your progress and take care of her for me.” 

*

Some hours later, Odo’s new charge had been moved to what served as a private room but remained comatose. 

Messy red hair spread out across the pillow, tangled strands loosely framing bruised porcelain skin, she was nothing more than sharp angles and wiry muscle. Even in rest, there was a stubborn catch to her jaw, a furrow of her brow, as if she could not relax, not even now.

Something about the sight touched Odo deeply. 

_A pretty girl like you…_ The softly whispered words came out of nowhere, rocking him to his core. 

Back when he still resided, if you could call it that, at the Science Institute, Odo had once fancied himself a connoisseur of humanoid appearance. A brief period of time during which he paid a great deal of attention to studying what was considered attractive in a rather vain and ultimately unsuccessful attempt to emulate such. He’d never been able to get it quite right as Mora was always more than happy to point out and Odo had long since given up on the frivolous notion of trying to appear aesthetically pleasing. Nonetheless, his changeling nature couldn’t help but take note of and appreciate beauty in form wherever he happened to find it. And he was certain he had never seen anyone more beautiful than the battered but still fighting woman before him.

She moaned then, restless, startling him as her face twisted into a painful grimace and she cried out an incoherent frightened noise. Concerned, Odo stepped closer, wondering if he should wake her or call for a nurse. 

_Dreaming, I think. Such an odd concept. So chaotic, so messy. All those subliminal thoughts left unchecked to play out as they please. The sort of dreams a child of the resistance like her must have aren’t likely to be very pleasant ones..._

_*_

_She struggled uselessly against her captors, brought in chains in front of none other than the Prefect himself. The butcher of Bajor gave her a leer that made her entire body shudder in response. Nausea and fear coiled in the pit of her stomach but defiant, undeterred, she spat on the ground at his feet in disgust. Laughing, he backhanded her hard enough her head spun and she tasted the sharp metallic tang of her own blood._

_“My, my. What have we here? This one certainly has an abundance of spirit. Just how I like them.” Dukat looked inordinately pleased with himself as the prisoner was hauled to her feet. She stared at him in stoney silence. “What do you say boys,” the Cardassian asked his guards. “Shall we teach this rebel whore to have some respect?”_

_“Yes, Sir!” The two Glinns grinned. She struggled all the more as harsh scaled hands tore off her clothes and pushed her roughly up against the wall._

Kira woke as she usually did on the heels of such a dream, with a start, adrenaline pumping and heart beating wildly. The unfamiliar surroundings she found herself in did little to ease her mounting anxiety. The unexpected throbbing in her head and sharp pain in her side didn’t exactly help either. 

“You’ve been gravely injured and are at the hospital,” a gravelly voice said from behind her. “Please, don’t attempt to move around, you’ll only make things more difficult for yourself.”

But when the speaker came into view, Kira questioned whether she’d actually woken up from her nightmare at all. For the man standing before her had been there too, on that monstracity of an outpost orbiting Bajor. She was fairly certain she’d flown under his radar, that he hadn’t known who she was or what had happened to her there, but she knew him. The odd facial structure of Terok Nor’s security chief was unmistakable. 

“Collaborator,” she hissed wickedly, a wild, feral, gleam coming over her eyes. Her boots were still on, she realized belatedly. If she could just reach the knife she always kept strapped to her calf, if her body would just cooperate... There! The movement set off a ripple of pain that would have doubled her over if she’d been standing, but the comforting feel of the hilt in her hand was worth it. Unable to get off the bed, Kira scooched backwards, propping herself up against the headboard and taking a defensive position best she could.

It was far from ideal, but she wouldn’t go down easy. 

But before she could consider her next move, a human in what had to be Federation garb entered the room. The boyish figure in blue didn’t look like much of a threat but nonetheless, like a cornered wild animal baring its fangs, she snarled nastily at both men, daring them to come at her and spitting out profanities that would make a dockworker blush. The Starfleet boy, she noticed with some satisfaction, gaped at her, clearly on the verge of running right back out the way he came. The shapeshifter’s only reaction was to slap the combadge on his chest. “Get Shakaar up here. Now.”

Shakaar arrived minutes later to find a trembling Kira Nerys shouting loudly and waving a familiar looking knife that had likely seen more blood spilled than even Edon cared to think about. One glance at her vacant glazed over expression and he recognized the problem immediately. There wasn’t a single person from his former resistance cell, himself included, who didn’t suffer from flashbacks of one kind or another. Kira was no exception. Prophets only knew she’d certainly been through enough horror to haunt a person for several lifetimes. 

“Nerys, stop this.” The First Minister took charge of the situation, jumping into the fray and attempting to remove the weapon from his friend’s shaking grasp. 

“Edon,” she whispered horsely, “Help me… Dukat…”

“No,” he interrupted firmly. “Forget about Dukat, he’s gone. It's over. He can’t touch you anymore.” Taking her hands in his, Shakaar began the words to an old devotion meant to center the pagh. After a minute, Kira haltingly joined in, the obvious tension in her body visibly starting to dissipate. The First Minister smiled gently as the chant came to its end. 

“You okay? Back with us now?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged ruefully. 

“Good.” Shakaar leaned in close and spoke so only she could hear. “Then humor me and cooperate with these two, please. Between them, they saved your life. Something I at least, am thankful for. The doctor, believe it or not, is one of the Federation’s rising stars. As for the other, you know as well as I do that he’s been formally exonerated of any charges of treason or collaboration. The changeling holds no loyalty or fondness for the Cardassians, Nerys. You’d do well to remember that.”

Convinced Kira was listening, even if she did look ready to argue, Shakaar squeezed her hand once more before motioning for Bashir to approach. 

“Um, hello there.” The doctor peered nervously at his volatile patient from a safe distance behind Shakaar’s shoulder. “You’ll, um, need to stay under observation for at least a few weeks, ma’am.” 

“What?” Kira protested, but her usual vehemence was muted as she flopped back against the pillows with a resigned grunt. “I thought you Federation types were supposed to be miracle workers, hum? You can’t fix me up and send me on my way any sooner than that? There have to be others who need attention more than I do. I don’t feel that bad. I’ll be fine. So tired though… Just let me sleep for a little bit and I’ll be out of here tomorrow…” 

“I don’t think so,” Bashir dared to contradict. “You have just been through a major trauma. You wouldn’t be bouncing back from something like this in a day even if we were at Starfleet medical headquarters. Which we are decidedly not. Though I dare say, considering what I had to work with, it’s rather miraculous you’re still with us at all. You see, without access to a functioning neuro-stimulator, something I intend to see that this hospital is equipped with very soon by the way, I had to improvise and use a …”

“Yes, yes. I’m so glad I was able to be such a fascinating case study for you.” Kira’s sarcasm was thick as she cut him off mid-sentence. 

Bashir’s mouth fell open, but he didn’t take offense. Or at least not much. 

“In conclusion,” he wrapped up with a flourish, “you are likely to make a full recovery. However, a concussion of this magnitude is nothing to mess around with. You must allow the brain to begin to repair itself, no medical intervention can change that. And as for the rest of your injuries, it would appear you are already acquainted with the lingering issues that come from poorly healed broken bones.” He looked meaningfully at Kira’s slightly crooked right shoulder and then at her perpetually swollen left ankle. “You have the luxury of allowing yourself heal properly this time around,” he said softly. “Take it.” 

Kira’s instinct was to bristle, to come back with some snappish retort. What would this sanctimonious off worlder know of what she’d been through? He wasn’t wrong precisely though and, not that she was willing to admit it out loud, she really did feel awful. She settled for a muttered “guess I’ll be here for a while then. Thank you doctor,” she added, almost as an afterthought, summarily dismissing him with a curt nod of her head.

“Looks like I’m done here as well, unless?” Shakaar glanced at her questioningly.

“Go, go.” Nerys waved him away. “I’m sure you have better things to be doing than hanging around here with me.” 

“I’ll come back again tomorrow, okay?” With a quick kiss to her cheek, Shakaar moved to leave, followed close behind by the still babbling doctor. 

“Mr First Minister, Sir? If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you about Bajoran use of faith and meditation in treating post traumatic stress disorder. The effect of that chant was nothing short of remarkable. It would make a most excellent topic for my next conference…” 

Kira couldn’t help but snicker watching Edon get pestered by Starfleet as they walked out the door, but her mirth soon evaporated upon realizing she was now left alone with the shapeshifter. The silent figure still standing in the far corner hadn’t said a word since summoning Shakaar.

He wasn’t all that physically imposing, not really. It surprised her that he didn’t take on a more impressive appearance. He could be anything after all. Nonetheless, Kira wasn't one to underestimate a foe and there was an undeniable presence about him that made her wary. He didn’t need to look formidable, she realized, because he simply was. Ruthlessly she suppressed a wave of fright and the beginnings of another panic attack. 

“I appreciate your assistance in bringing me here,” she finally managed to get out.

He nodded in acknowledgement of her faint praise. “When you are feeling better, I will want to go over some things with you. There may be foul play behind the event that caused your injuries. I have been asked to look into it and to watch over you until we know for sure. You may be assured that I will do so to the best of my ability.” 

Kira scowled, trepidation forgotten in the face of rising irritation. “Forget it. Like I said, thanks for what you did, but if someone’s after me I’ll deal with it on my own. I don’t need or want a bodyguard.”

“I don't doubt you are fully capable of taking care of such things. However, you are rather indisposed at the moment. Even if you weren’t, those are my orders from the First Minister himself and I intend to follow through with them.”

_Damn it, Edon! What in Prophet’s name were you thinking appointing him as my babysitter? This is going to be as bad as the time I had to escort that Cardassian defector, the one who’d been record keeper at Gallitup, off planet._

“Fine. Listen, let’s get a couple things straight then. I trust Shakaar. Implicitly. He has earned that trust a thousand times over. So if he wants me to cooperate with you, I will. But I don’t trust you so don’t expect me to be particularly happy or nice about it. And I swear to the Prophets above, not even Edon is going to stop me from killing you if…” 

Whatever threat she’d been about to make, Odo never knew because Kira slumped over mid tirade, finally succumbing to the combined effects of exhaustion and the cocktail of drugs the doctor had shot her up with before he left. 

The shapeshifter shook his head in disbelief. What would it be like for someone to have such unwavering loyalty in him as she proclaimed to have in Shakaar? He scoffed. He was never going to know. 

_You are a changeling, Odo Ital. No solid, least of all this one, will ever fully trust you. Can you blame her?_

*

When Kira finally woke from the blissfully dream free sleep of one put under by the influence of a powerful sedative, the changeling was gone but once more she was not alone in the room. The stately older woman sitting in a chair by the side of the bed, however, was perhaps even more of a shock than the shapeshifter had been, though in a far different way.

“Your reverence…” Groggily Kira sat up, bowing her head in a deep show of respect. 

“Be at ease, child. I hardly came here expecting formality.” Opaka Sulan smiled kindly. “It is time.” The Kai stood, holding an ornate square box in her hands. 

“An orb,” Kira whispered in awe, recognizing the object for what it was. “I thought the Cardassians destroyed them all.”

Opaka merely shook her head, releasing the catch on the wooden frame. A blinding white light spilled forth, catching Kira in its glow and holding her there.

She was in a cave. One of the many underground tunnels and bolt holes used by the resistance in evading Cardassian pursuit. Kira could almost smell the musty dankness, feel the chill of the stale air. She definitely heard the screams and sounds of phaser fire. Horrified she watched achingly familiar events taking place before her. 

_“We can't hold position much longer.”_

_“Hurry! The east entrance, we’ll go that way.”_

“Noooo…” It wouldn’t do them any good, she knew. But Kira could no more influence what was happening than she'd been able to prevent it the first time around. When she'd lived it. The day more than half the Shakaar cell was massacred in that cave. They'd been ridiculously lucky it hadn't been all of them. 

Why? Why were the Prophets putting her through this again? Wasn't once enough?

“You exist in this place.” 

“Paza?” But even as the words spilled out in a tumbled rush, Kira knew the being suddenly materializing beside her was not, could not, be her two years now in the grave dear friend.

The entity assuming Lupaza’s form glowed faintly with an ethereal shimmer, cocking her head and studying Kira intently. “You remain here,” the Celestial being repeated. “Stuck. Here and other places like it. It is not linear.”

“No, I suppose not,” Kira conceded. The Gods knew the truth of her soul after all. There wasn’t much sense in hiding it. 

She’d told no one, not even Edon, the full extent of the unsettling thoughts plaguing her since the end of the Occupation. The constant daily struggle to hold the never ending nightmares at bay, not just of Dukat but of everything she’d seen and done. The niggling persistent feeling she couldn’t shake that she was far too touched by darkness to ever make it in a world of peace. That she had played her part and there was nothing more left for her. 

“This is all I've ever been. All I’ve ever known.” Kira gestured to the scene still playing out before them, wincing as the body of a young man fell at her feet. _Donel. Or was his name Mikel? So many dead I can't even remember them all anymore._ “I’m not sure I know how to be anything else.”

“You are of Bajor.”

At the Prophet‘s words, the cave disappeared and a series of disjointed events flashed before Kira’s eyes in rapid succession:

Standing in a garden, tears brimming in her eyes as a dark skinned human, a Federation officer, softly admonishing her; _You’re on the other side now, Nerys. Hurts doesn’t it?_

A dead Cardassian at her feet, felled by the hand of another, and she felt remorse? Another Cardassian she hugged and called father. 

Wearing a ridiculous dress and pointy hat, clutching the arm of a tall woman with long brown hair, pure uninhibited female laughter shaking both their frames. Kira was thirty years old and certain she’d never laughed like that before. Ever.

A bedroom. A man, face unseen, trailing kisses down her neck, lips and tongue lingering reverently over the deep jagged scar across her left breast that no dermal regenerator seemed able to vanquish. “Oh Nerys. Nerys.” The deep voice was chock full of emotion. “All the years I’ve spent imagining this with you... I never thought it would actually happen let alone be so perfect. You are my everything. You always have been and always will be.” 

A desolate rocky beach under the weight of an unfamiliar sky. A lake the color of pure amber stretching out as far as she could see. The starkly beautiful utterly foreign surroundings were nowhere on Bajor, or anywhere she had heard of, of that much she was certain. An older Kira Nerys, shoulders squared and rigid, unmistakable grief and sorrow etched across her face but mixed with steely resignation and pride. “Goodbye,” she whispered, staring out across the strange sea pressing a trembling hand to quivering lips. “I’ll never forget you.”

In the next instant, Kira found herself back in the hospital bed, reeling from all she had seen. Over the days that followed, it wasn’t like she had much else to do but mull over the strange experience. The message seemed clear enough. Kira Nerys had nothing if not complete faith in her Prophets and a sense of peace settled over her, secure in the knowledge she’d eventually be able to come to terms with her past. To live and love.

Newfound clarity may have eased the discontent in her soul but it didn't extend to patience with her enforced bedrest and physical limitations. By the fourth day of her hospital stay, Kira had had enough. The woman who could patiently lay in wait for hours to ambush a troop of Cardassians was ready to jump out of her own skin, becoming more and more restless with every minute of forced inactivity. 

Edon stopped by as much as his schedule allowed and so did a few others, but the one surprising constant was the shapeshifter. He never said much but seemed to always be there with a glass of water, hypospray or extra blanket to wrap over her legs. Grudgingly she accepted his attentions with as much grace as she could muster, which, admittedly, wasn’t a whole lot. 

“I can’t take this anymore,” she finally announced. “If you don’t want me to get up and walk out of here right now, crawl if I have to, you’re gonna need to distract me. Tell me what you’ve done to catch the bastard that did this. Tell me what the Federation people are really like. I don’t care. Just talk to me about something remotely interesting before I go out of my mind.” 

Odo looked up from his reading material in alarm. Conversation wasn’t something he had expected her to ask of him. Nor was it something he was particularly good at or comfortable with. But he knew he had to do something. 

“Actually, I was just cross-referencing this data.” He handed over the padd with his notes. “Take a look. Perhaps you have some ideas to contribute. I would welcome your input.”

It was precisely the right thing to say. Kira seized upon the opportunity to do something useful and soon they were engaged in a lively conversation about the intricacies of making explosives. From that point on she insisted on being part of the investigation. Odo supposed it wasn't strictly appropriate, but had no real objections. 

*

The courtyard behind the hospital wasn’t much to look at, but someone had clearly been tending to the small area. Kira only absentmindedly noted the delicate new botanical life planted along the walkway. She was too busy concentrating on putting one foot after another without falling on her face.

The physical therapist had been unable to make it for their regular afternoon session. Kira’s disappointment at missing the one small outing she was allowed each day must have shown on her face because Odo had quickly offered to take her instead. 

She stumbled slightly, swearing at how weak she still was. The shapeshifter caught her, his hand on her lower back light yet steady as he steered her towards a bench. 

“Something came to my attention this morning,” he said once they were both seated.

Kira grunted, indicating she was listening, even as she bent over rubbing a kink out of her stiff unused muscles.

“I believe you’ll recognize the name Va’trick.”

Attention fully on her companion now, she whipped her head up, just barely resisting the urge to squirm under his weighty stare. Instead she met his gaze with a challenge of her own. 

“I thought you were investigating who tried to blow me up. Not the five year old disappearance of a filthy collaborator.”

“I can work on more than one case at a time you know. New developments came up. I pulled the old files. A resistance operative loosely matching your description was the prime suspect and disappeared from the station shortly thereafter.”

“I didn’t want to kill him,” she confessed after a long moment. Didn’t intend to but, well, it was him or me and he was the one feeding information to the Cardassians.” Kira felt a pang of regret at the possibility of losing this tentative unlikely connection that seemed to be developing between her and the shapeshifter, but it was precisely because of the growing respect she had for him that kept her from lying. “What you think of me… Odo, it matters. We’ve only known each other a short time, but I’ve come to value your opinion. I hope this doesn’t change anything.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to.” 

*

It was fitting that, on the eve of the first Gratitude Festival since the Cardassian departure, Kira Nerys was finally discharged from the hospital after spending three weeks, six days and ten hours there. Not that she was counting or anything. Ignoring the nurse’s platitudes about ‘taking it easy’ and ‘not overdoing it’, Kira nearly bolted from the room in relief but something stopped her flight.

_Damn it, where is he? I don't feel right leaving without at least saying goodbye._

As if on cue, Odo appeared in the hallway awkwardly muttering something about being glad he caught her before she left.

“You saved my life. I don’t forget something like that. Know that there’s someone on Bajor who has your back if you ever need it. Don’t hesitate to call in the favor. I owe you one. Pelder joi Constable.”

With that, she grinned, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek before flouncing off, fleeing the hospital confines at long last, leaving a stunned changeling behind in her wake.

*

“Deep Space Nine Security.” Odo himself answered the late night hail patched in from Bajor, his grumpy, curt tone making it clear he wasn’t exactly thrilled about the interruption. 

Kira had suspected he would be working, even at this hour, and it seemed she was right. He probably thought she was someone from the council of ministers or some other annoyance he didn’t want to deal with. For a moment, she hesitated but it was too late now to cut the call. Once Kira Nerys made up her mind to do something, she followed through with it. 

“Hi,” she gulped slightly as his visage appeared on her com unit.

“Kira! Is everything okay?” 

“Yes, thanks, I’m fine. Better than ever. Even knocked the esteemed First Minister to the ground three times sparring this morning, so I’d say I’m fully healed. ‘Course Edon is getting fat and lazy what with his desk job and all. He’s not so much of a challenge anymore.” She grinned. “I wanted to let you know Arom was sentenced today. He ended up under house arrest for planting the bomb. There wasn’t much else they could do since I refused to testify against him.” 

Kira was willing to bet Odo already had this information. He probably had known of the hearing outcome even before she did. Nonetheless, the news gave her the plausible excuse to call him that she’d been looking for. 

“The man’s a menace.” Odo harrumphed. “You should have testified.”

“He’s an old man racked with guilt. He thought he was setting a trap for his collaborator of a brother-in-law. Oh, it was wrong, but he had his reasons and I understand them. Regardless, I don’t think he’ll be setting up any more explosives.” 

“If you say so.”

She rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. “Of course I do.” 

On the view screen, Odo could see Kira making herself comfortable on the couch in what he assumed was her apartment. She settled back against the cushions, sipping a steaming beverage. “So,” she said after a brief pause. “Is this a bad time? Are you busy?” 

Odo quickly decided the backlog of reports he’d been working on could wait another day. Technically he was off duty as of four hours ago anyway so he had no qualms whatsoever about turning this into a personal call. “I’m always busy, but nothing immediately pressing, no.”

“Good. I was hoping to talk to you for a little bit. How are things on that station of yours? Did everything fall apart without you there to impose order? Are you still picking up the pieces?”

“Where do I start?” Odo groaned. “While I was on Bajor, an attempt to reprogram the language controls in the computer mainframe resulted in most operations refusing to recognize voice commands unless spoken in Kardasi. Which has yet to be corrected as there is a list of about fifteen other more pressing problems that need to be addressed first.” 

Kira stifled a giggle at his pained tone. “At least you speak Kardasi,” she pointed out.

“True, but that doesn’t mean I like it.” Odo was on a roll. “Then, last night a group of Starfleet ensigns introduced a game called beer pong at Quarks …” 

Before either of them knew it, it was hours later and a yawning Kira finally conceded that if she didn’t go to sleep soon she’d be completely worthless the next day. But she didn’t sign off before extracting a promise from Odo that they would talk again soon.

It was a promise he was more than happy to make. As Kira’s image disappeared, Odo felt a lump rise in his simulated throat. What a novel experience it was having someone ask about his day, someone genuinely interested in hearing about his minor triumphs and frustrations. And who, in return, shared her own trials and tribulations. Kira treated him as _worthwhile_ , like a person instead of a freak, and for that alone he would be forever grateful to her. 

*

_Dear Kira:_

_I hope this letter finds you well and that you are enjoying your extended stay at the monastery._

_Mrs. O’Brien, our chief engineer’s wife, has started a schoolhouse on the station. You may have heard, the situation has caused quite the ruckus among the more conservative religious orders on Bajor. Whatever the consequences, it appears her school is here to stay. I have, of course, been providing extra security detail as a result. Having never attended a school per se, it has been interesting for me to observe. As part of her curriculum, Keiko has set up what’s known as a ‘pen pal exchange’, arranging for the students to correspond with similar aged kids on Earth. It appears to be a wildly popular activity and the children wait anxiously for their return messages. Since it is not always possible for us to speak over the comlink, I thought perhaps in between talking face to face, you and I might do something similar?_

He went on for another six pages in typical Odo fashion; eloquent yet straightforward and completely without pretense. Keen political observations mixed with amusing anecdotes about station life and, as always, pointed questions about what and how she was doing. Kira clung to every word. Hearing from Odo always managed to brighten her spirits significantly.

She sat down to compose a message in response. 

_Dear Odo,_

_I was told to explore feeling useless today. I’m sure you can imagine how well that went over. I had enough of that at the hospital. I do like it here though..._


	3. Chapter Three

Surrounded by seemingly endless kava fields, the large sprawling house nestled in the foothills was off the beaten path. Once some long ago junior council member’s country retreat, it was too far out of the way for the Cardassians to have ever been very interested in the place. As such, it had remained relatively untouched over the years. A perfect case study in pre-occupation era architecture for those interested in such things. There weren’t too many like it left anymore, the new rebuilding effort tending towards an ostentatious design Kira Nerys thought absurd. But this simple, time weathered home, it suited her. It was the perfect place for a battle scarred ex resistance fighter such as herself and the assorted motley crew of war orphans that had ended up in her care. 

In the front yard, a spirited game of springball was presently underway. Kira swung her racket and sent the ball speeding towards its goal to make the final point, victory all but assured. That was, until the net somehow doubled in size, deflecting the ball and knocking it back down to the ground.

“What the...?” Recalling her audience of children, children she was supposed to be acting the responsible role model for, Kira swallowed a creative epithet at the last moment.

She need not have bothered to censor her language. They’d heard it all before and in any event, the kids, doubled over in hysterical laughter as they were, wouldn’t have noticed if their guardian had invoked the Pah-Wraiths themselves. It took her a minute, but Kira finally caught on. Grinning wildly she gently poked the offending net, now back to it’s normal size. 

“Odo, Prophets help me but that better be you or else I’m really going crazy.” 

The net fluttered in acknowledgement before reshaping into a familiar humanoid form. One with a rather sheepish expression on its smooth face. 

“So, just whose idea was it to sabotage my best round yet?” Kira’s brown eyes were sparkling even as she pretended to be angry. 

“Arin,” a chorus of voices answered her in unison. Of course.

The Bajoran boy in question met Kira’s pointed gaze with no fear or remorse. “Yeah, it was my idea Nerys, but Odo agreed to do it.”

How Arin had managed to convince the taciturn Constable to use his shapeshifting abilities for a practical joke, Kira had no idea. It was a side of Odo she once wouldn’t have thought possible. Then again, she’d never been much for such silly games either. Or, more accurately, never really been allowed the opportunity to find out until recently. 

“The two of you together are a force to be reckoned with,” she finally managed to make out between her own gasps of laughter. Kira turned to the changeling, giving him a big hug. “I’m so glad to see you! It’s been far too long.” Kira didn’t normally make such a fuss over her guests, but her dear friend wasn’t just anyone and she couldn’t help herself. “We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“Things were quiet for once. I was able to take off early. I didn’t think you’d mind,” he chuckled in her ear, returning the embrace.

“Of course not!”

“Uncle Odo! Uncle Odo! Can you turn into a synoraptor and bite Nala for me?”

As Odo was pulled away from her by an excited mob of young hands, Kira Nerys felt like everything was right in her world.

*

Kira sat, curled up in one of the big cushioned chairs on the front porch. Odo, who had followed her outside, stood leaning against the patio railing. Neither spoke, content to simply enjoy each other’s company and watch Bajor’s bright red sun disappear behind the mountains in the distance.

It was Kira who finally broke the silence. “We haven’t given you a moments rest since you arrived, have we? I’m so sorry. I know how much you appreciate your peace and quiet. You’re a good sport Odo. It’s so nice to have you around. I can’t thank you enough for coming. Arin in particular really looks forward to your visits. You know, he’s the most traumatized of the bunch. It’s an all too familiar story; parents murdered right in front of him at Gallitup and Prophets know what else. Wouldn’t talk to any of us for months initially, but he really comes out of his shell when you’re here.” 

Odo, as usual, appeared uncomfortable with the lavish praise but Kira wasn’t done. “Arin’s not the only one who admires you,” she blurted out. “Truly, I don’t think I tell you nearly enough just how much you mean to me. I wish I could keep you here forever.”

She blushed at her own words. _Geesh Nerys. Just invite the man to move in with you why don’t you. No more springwine for you tonight._

The blush grew deeper as an image washed over her. Strong arms holding her tight. A rough masculine voice telling her he loved her. The vision the Prophets had shown her all those years ago was as vivid as ever. Not that it had come to pass. She had found her inner peace but not the mysterious lover.

 _I wish it could be him. I wish it could be Odo_ , she realized suddenly surprising herself. She’d never thought of her friend in that way before but right now it was all she could think about. _It’s too bad he would never be interested..._

“Nerys?” Odo had a strange expression on his face as he took a step towards her. Whatever it was, if anything was even there at all, it disappeared at the sound of a sharp rap on the screen door behind them. An elegant half Cardassian teenager poked her head out, unknowingly interrupting the moment. 

“Nerys, the young ones are put to bed. I’ll deal with anything that may come up. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“Thanks Ziyal. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. Have good night. You too Odo.” The young woman ducked back in the house with a smile and a wave. 

Kira mentally sighed, trying to pull herself together. _Odo has never once indicated that he has romantic feelings for anyone. Just the opposite in fact. I hope I didn’t embarrass him too badly._ Quickly she brought the conversation back to a more neutral topic. 

“So,” she said indicating the door through which Ziyal had disappeared, “Would you ever have believed three years ago that this is where I would end up? Running an orphanage with Dukat’s bastard daughter of all people. She’s a really great girl too.”

Odo considered thoughtfully for a moment before speaking. 

“You’ve always had a passion for helping your people. It’s not that much of a stretch that you’d go from being a freedom fighter to bringing up the next generation that you helped liberate. It may not be how you imagined your life turning out, but you seem happy.”

“I can finally say that I am. We are starting to heal. All of us. We have scars that will never go away, will never be forgotten, but we’ll be able to move on.”

*

_Nerys:_

_I’ve almost told you this countless times, but whenever I open my mouth, I choke and say something else entirely instead. Prophets, that last time I was on Bajor... The way you looked in the dimming light… You almost had me confessing everything, but I am a coward and the words wouldn’t come. Perhaps, however, it is better you hear it like this anyway since I’m sure what I have to say will come as a shock._

_Nerys, I love you. I always have and always will..._

“Pathetic!” Frustrated with his efforts, Odo hit the delete button and threw the padd across his quarters. The unfortunate device hit the wall with a satisfying crash before shattering into pieces. The only furniture he had in the room, a chair and small desk, soon followed. Then he moved on to dismantling and destroying the various objects d’art he used to practice shape shifting. 

In the quarters below that of the station’s security chief, Quark grumbled something unintelligible under his breath. With the resigned sigh of someone faced with an annoyingly familiar nuisance, the Ferengi grabbed a pair of earplugs and tossed them at his brother who was rising from where he’d fallen asleep on the couch. 

“Here. Go back to sleep Rom. You can pay me for these later. I'm going to do something about this. Odo’s always been noisy but this is beyond the pale even for him. It’s like he’s practicing ‘being’ a thundercloud on Ferenginar. Or a warp core breach. Or I don’t know but enough is enough!”

“Odo! I know you’re in there. The whole station knows you’re in there. Open up or I’m coming in!” 

Getting no response, Quark set to work bypassing the security system to gain access to the changeling’s quarters but it wasn’t necessary, the door was unsecured and opened at a touch. Righteous anger turned to shock as he stepped over the threshold. 

“Damn… This wasn’t just shapeshifting, you really trashed the place. There’s only one thing that can be responsible for something like this. A female. I didn’t think you had it in you Odo. It’s that red head Bajoran isn’t it? She looked like she could reduce a man to something like this.”

A disheveled Odo roared to life from behind the wreckage. 

“How do you know about Nerys? If you’ve been spying on me…”

Quark took a step back, quickly realizing he’d crossed a line, but unwilling to retreat completely. He had to get to the bottom of this. His profit margin depended on getting a good night’s sleep. 

“Nerys, is it? Pretty name for a pretty lady, though she seems a bit obstinate for my tastes. Calm down. You call yourself an investigator? Leeta’s cousin works at the spaceport on Bajor. I’ve heard all about the woman who meets your shuttle whenever you go on vacation. So, what’s the problem then?” 

When Odo stubbornly remained silent, Quark considered the possibilities. 

“She couldn’t have dumped you because I doubt you were in that kind of relationship to begin with. But you want to be,” he said suddenly realizing. “You actually have feelings for her. And I’m going to guess you’re too proud to act on them, preferring to torture yourself instead and bring the rest of us along for the ride. Well, let me tell you something Odo. You can’t continue like this. Either make a move or forget about her!”

Odo shook his head in abject misery, knowing he wouldn't be able to do either.


	4. Chapter Four

There was a commotion outside his office. Shakaar Edon, in a move he knew full well wasn’t very worthy of the leader of the Bajoran people, held his breath and pretended he didn’t hear the raised voices, hoping they would just go away. They didn’t. To make matters worse, it wasn’t one of his staff who subsequently stormed into the First Minister’s private sanctuary. For the most part, his staff knew better. No, this was a furious Kira Nerys shoving her way past the poor guard who’d made a half hearted but obviously ineffective attempt at stopping her. 

Shakaar had a pretty good idea what had set her off. He was only surprised she’d managed to wait until after breakfast to confront him about it. 

“By all means, Nerys. Come on in,” he said wearily, giving himself up to the inevitable. 

“You want to explain this?” She slammed a padd from the news service on his desk. “What your non-aggression pact has come to?”

He took a quick glance to make sure it was what he thought it was. Yep. The headline flashed in large print: _Vedek commits suicide protesting Dominion presence._

“I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize myself anymore,” Kira hissed angrily. “Four years of peace and we’re so willing to just sit back and let this happen. Us of all people! What kind of example am I setting for Arin and the others? What kind of legacy will be left for them? I don’t like what I’ve become, Edon. Complacent. A collaborator. I'm done looking the other way. I can’t let this continue anymore without a fight. Those Vorta are crawling all over the place. They make Dukat look like an amateur.” 

“Kira… Please… Don’t add to my problems right now… I don’t like this anymore than you do but Bajor is still recovering. We can’t get involved in a war right now, no matter how great the cause. You know that. The non-aggression pact at least gives us a chance to make it through this unscathed and I need to maintain at least the illusion that we’re sticking to it. Informally I’ll do what I can to help you, but I don’t want to know about it and I can’t be actively involved in whatever you’re plotting. Not now anyway. Just promise me whatever you do, you’ll be careful.” 

Frustrated, Kira left the First Minister’s office. Despite her hot-headed reaction, she did know Edon was doing what he could. He was most useful where he was. Her hands, however, were not tied by diplomacy. A plan began to form. 

She was going to need a resistance cell. Odo, naturally enough, was the first person who came to mind. He’d been disillusioned and disgusted by the actions of the Dominion from the very beginning. Probably more so than anyone knowing they were his own people. He just so happened to be on Bajor too. When the joint Cardassian-Dominion troops reclaimed Deep Space Nine, its security chief had soon thereafter been recalled planetside as part of the evacuation. That had been two weeks ago. Kira hadn’t heard from him since he arrived, not that she particularly expected to, he was, after all, in the midst of dealing with a war and not on a social visit. But perhaps now was a good time to look up her friend after all.

It wasn’t difficult to find out where he was staying.

“You shouldn’t be here. Leave.” 

He all but shut the door in her face. It wasn’t the welcome Kira had been expecting and she was taken aback by Odo’s abrupt uncharacteristic rudeness. 

“Excuse me?” 

When she barreled past him and saw who else was in the room, his words made more sense. Sort of.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Odo repeated, as if Kira hadn’t heard the first time. The condescension dripping from his voice would have bested even Kai Winn. “The link has nothing to say to you. We are not concerned with matters of solids.” 

At first, Kira thought he was playing a role in front of the Founder. Or that it wasn’t him at all but some other changeling. His sparkling blue eyes were cold as ice, his face completely devoid of any emotion. A chill like no other went down Kira’s spine. Underneath the Constable’s hard exterior had always been a gentle, compassionate, soul. His unwavering sense of justice and loyalty, his self-deprecating humor, all the characteristics that had drawn her to him, were gone entirely. The cruel, dispassionate, utterly alien being in front of her was not the Odo she knew and cared for.

“You’ve joined them,” she gasped, realizing. “I can’t believe this.” 

Odo. The friend she’d come to trust. To love. The rock who, until now, she could always count on to be there for her. Her knees buckled and she she stumbled blindly, grabbing on to the wall in an effort to keep from falling under the weight of the betrayal. 

Perversely Kira remembered how, not long after he first discovered his people, a deeply troubled Odo had come to Bajor. Come to her. Her heart had ached for him as a surprisingly candid Odo let out his disappointment and fears. Evidently, years spent developing an identity of his own among solids had kept him from being fully comfortable or fully accepted within the community of changelings. Whatever the hang up, he was clearly over it now. She would have been happy for him making peace with his heritage except this wasn’t right, wasn’t Odo. 

“What have you done to him?” Kira turned on the ‘female’ changeling. “You’ve brainwashed him somehow, corrupted him.” 

“Just the opposite actually. It is you who have corrupted him. The being you know as Odo has been kept from taking his rightful place in the universe due to a false attachment to the solid world and you in particular. He has now evolved past such nonsense.” 

Kira looked at Odo, bewildered, the founder’s words twisting a knife deep in her heart. Odo made no effort to counter the statement, only nodded in agreement. 

“You know what? If this is how you want it Odo, fine. I obviously can’t stop you.” Kira whirled around and left without a glance backwards. Neither changeling paid her retreat any mind at all.

*

Time as he knew it ceased to have any meaning. Linking was as powerful and intoxicating as Odo remembered from his previous brief experience. His very cells screamed out, recognizing their natural state. The link was Odo and Odo was the link.

It wasn’t the blissful nirvana it should have been. Through the hazy onslaught of sensations that swamped him, the consciousness that remained uniquely Odo resisted giving over completely. He struggled to recall something important, something precious he didn’t want to forget. It came to him in bits and pieces. The flash of a radiant smile. Laughter like the sweetest music. The feel of a small calloused hand clasping his. _Nerys._ Odo recoiled from the link in grief and despair. _Oh, what have I done?_

Back in solid form, the Founder regarded him as she might a small child. 

“We told you before she will never love you. That has not changed. In fact, the solid you purport to care for so much has actively taken up arms against us. She will be captured and executed by the Jem H’adair. Then perhaps you will be able to let go.”

Odo shuddered violently. “You still don’t understand do you? It doesn’t matter if she loves me in return. I’ve never expected her to. I love her.” 

*

 _This is absolutely ridiculous._ It wasn’t even remotely the time or place for it, but Kira couldn’t help laughing at the absolute absurdity of the situation she was in. _The stress of the last six months must finally be catching up to me._

“What are you laughing at?” The taller of Kira’s two companions scowled as he paced the holding cell. “I fail to see what you find so funny about this.” His words only made her giggle more.

The second man watched their exchange with a hint of his own amusement. “Why, I do believe, Damar, that our fearless tactical leader is simply appreciating the irony of being held captive with and likely put to death alongside two Cardassians.” 

“Shut up Garak, I can speak for myself,” Kira said, still laughing. At the same time, Damar sat down slumped against the wall and muttering something about really wanting a bottle of kanar. 

They made for awfully strange allies, it was true. The Bajoran resistance fighter, the exiled former obsidian order agent with who knew what sort of hidden motivations and the thick headed, murderous thug of a career soldier who’d developed a crisis of conscious and, shockingly, the backbone to actually do something about it. When the Federation asked Shakaar for an undercover agent to go to Cardassia Prime and teach the Cardassian a few tricks about how to rebel, Kira had been his first choice. 

It was a uphill battle but she’d always been one for the underdog. Even if it was the Cardassians. 

Unfortunately, the latest raid hadn’t gone as planned. The objective had been to wipe out the communications station. Simple in theory, difficult in execution. It wasn’t a complete loss though. If nothing else, the destruction they’d wrought before they got captured would buy the Federation some time. Prophets willing, it would be enough to make what, undoubtedly, was going to be an unpleasant end at the hands of the Dominion worth it.

The unmistakable sound of a phaser being discharged nearby stopped Kira’s laughter and brought all three revolutionaries to attention instantly. The body of a Jem H’aidar crashed to the floor in front of their cell. “That’s Bajoran fire,” Damar gasped. To Kira’s even greater astonishment, Odo appeared from around the corner, kicking the dead guard out of the way and releasing the cell’s forcefield.

He gave Kira a single searing glance filled with guilt and pain, then looked at his feet. 

“I was wrong. I can’t let them take over the Alpha Quadrant. I can’t let them kill you. This ends now. Follow me.”

Kira instinctively opened her mouth to protest, to tell him off, to say something, but for once was at a loss for words. Damar stood stubbornly still, clearly untrusting and making no effort to move either. It was Garak who prodded them both towards action. “You heard him. Come on, let's go!”

In their race through the hallway, the sight of Damar had Cardassians joining them in mass. The small army burst into the operations room and pandemonium ensued. Out of the corner of her eye, Kira winced as she saw Damar fall, but there was nothing she could do about it. 

“Stop this.” The booming voice cut through the melee of phaser fire. “You may win the war, but what good will it do you? The link is dying. Look at me. I am proof this disease is not a death sentence. I can cure you, as I was cured, but only at the cost of peace. I’ll let you all perish otherwise.”

“You would kill your own people then Odo?” There was no censor in the Founder’s voice, only mild curiosity.

“If necessary.”

Kira, crouched behind an overturned navigational display, steadied her weapon. Disease? She had no idea what they were talking about but Odo appeared to have gotten the bitch’s undivided attention. After a long pause, the creature reached for Odo’s hand and they stood there, two golden towers of changeling. Kira seriously considered blasting the both of them to the fire caves and beyond, but, like the rest of the handful of people left alive in the room, something stayed her hand. After what seemed like an eternity, the Founder broke away and gestured at the Vorta by her side. “He speaks the truth. Stand down. We will concede. The link must survive. Give the order.”

*

Kira celebrated the end of this second war she’d lived through by locking herself in the meditation garden behind her house and bawling. She cried out a lifetime of sorrow, old hurts she thought healed over but never far from the surface. She cried for the many victims of the Dominion, for Damar and his vision for Cardassia, and, if she was really honest, for herself over the loss of a particular shapeshifting constable from her life. 

The topic of Odo was a bitter and confusing one. On the return trip home, before disembarking at Deep Space Nine, a smug looking Garak had handed her an envelope. “My dear, I was asked to give this to you,” he said with surprising sympathy, patting her shoulder. Kira didn’t need to ask who it was from and nearly ripped the paper to shreds without even opening it, but curiosity got the better of her. _What could he possibly have to say for himself?_ As it turned out, not much. His final letter was brief.

_Kira:_

_I’m sorry. More sorry than you can possibly imagine. Empty words I know, but they are heartfelt. Not that it changes anything._

_It is not my desire to return to my people, but it is a rather fitting end. I can’t imagine being welcome among solids anymore. It was only with you that I ever felt like I truly belonged anyway. At least within the link I can, perhaps, bring a new perspective. Broaden their understanding and prevent such a tragedy as this war from ever happening again. It is my duty and the least I can do to rectify the actions of myself and my brethren._

_I will never forget you._

_Odo._

How could he? Kira punched the stone wall she was leaning against and watched the resulting trickle of blood stream across her knuckles. It didn’t do nearly enough to distract her from the emotional pain. 

The worst part of it all was the way he’d run away.

“Oh, Odo. I think, maybe, I understand a little why you did what you did. No way am I excusing your behavior, but it’s possible we could have gotten past this. I want to believe in you again so badly. But you didn’t even try, you just left and now we don’t even have the chance to find out.” 

_Odo’s hardly the first person I’ve trusted who ended up betraying me. Why am I taking this so hard? I can’t remember crying like this before over anything._

It hit her then with a bolt of certainty, a moment of pure clarity. _Odo really was the one the Prophets showed me in that vision. You lost him to that golden sea after all._

Heavy with the agony of regret and missed opportunity, Kira crumpled to ground as a fresh wave of tears washed over her. So far gone she was, she didn’t even notice she had company until Arin was right in front of her. The boy stared wide-eyed, worried enough about the only mother figure he knew to defy Ziyal’s stern warnings to leave Nerys alone, but unsure what to do now that he’d found her in such a state. 

“I hate Uncle Odo for hurting you,” he announced with venom, somehow understanding the root of her pain, before bursting into tears of his own. 

Nerys pulled the boy into her lap, wrapping her arms around him tightly. “Honey, no. Don’t say that. Odo made some bad choices but he did his best to make up for what he did. That’s what matters in the end. Let’s remember the good times we had with him, okay?” 

“I just want him to come back,” the boy howled.

“Me too, sweetheart, me too, but that’s not going to happen.”


	5. Chapter Five

“Sir, you might want to come out here. The wormhole is opening and there’s something coming through. We weren’t expecting visitors were we?” 

There wasn’t much that could make Benjamin Sisko burst out of his office at an undignified run, but those words from his science officer definitely qualified. The thought of a renewed threat from the Dominion less than a year after the end of the war was… well, it wasn’t anything Sisko wanted to think about. 

_Slow down, Ben. Let’s see what we’re dealing with first before you start to panic._

The entire Ops crew watched nervously as a single shuttle emerged from the swirling color of light. 

“Oh my God, that’s a Dominion ship,” Ensign Baker not so helpfully pointed out, announcing what everyone else already knew, but didn’t want to voice out loud.

“They’re hailing us,” said Dax.

“On the com,” Sisko barked, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

It wasn’t the female founder. Couldn’t be. ‘She’ was locked up somewhere in a high security prison back on Earth having surrendered herself up in exchange for Odo returning to the link. The being on the view screen had the same basic facial features but with violet eyes, long blonde hair and a bright turquoise dress. The effect was disconcerting for a number of reasons, not the least being that this strange figure had the power to throw them all back into a deadly conflict. 

“Commander Sisko.”

“Yes. I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage. We were not anticipating anyone from the Gamma Quadrant. You are?

The changeling’s face shimmered for a moment before settling on a look of joyful enthusiasm. “There, that’s right, I think. Humanoid expressions can be so difficult to master. The Odo part has explained to us how to be separate, yet whole. The name we … I … have chosen is Jayne. Thank you for asking.”

Sisko felt himself relax an iota, though still wary. Jayne seemed to have none of the original Founder’s callousness. Or any of Odo’s reserved nature either for that matter. 

“We are a communal people Commander. The link has absorbed Odo’s experience among the solids. We are him and he is us. It has been most fascinating, but we have run into a problem. The Odo part is not at peace. The link is … distracted as a result. Quite frankly, we can take it no longer. A decision had to be made. We bring him back to you. For the good of all of us, Odo is not to return until he has sufficiently resolved the issue one way or another.”

Jayne nodded at a Vorta hovering in the background behind her. In the next instant, with the whir of a transportation beam, Odo appeared in lower Ops and promptly collapsed as the Dominion ship turned around and headed back towards the wormhole.

A few hours later Sisko stood in the infirmary where his once security chief was now a puddle of inert liquid spread out across the floor of exam room two.

“It is Odo and he is very much alive,” Bashir confirmed, coming up behind the Commander. “I can tell you that much for sure. But he’s either unwilling or unable to take shape. Honestly, I suspect the first since I can’t find anything wrong with him.”

“Well, leave him be then, I suppose. It’s not like we can do anything else at the moment anyway. He’ll come around when he’s ready.” 

Dax corralled him in the turbolift as he made his way back to Ops. “A word, Ben?” 

“Of course.” 

“I think I might know what this is all about. I’m pretty sure Odo left behind a girlfriend on Bajor. I think we should be looking for her. She deserves to know what’s going on and her presence might help bring him back to himself.”

Sisko hit the pause button and the lift complied, lurching to a stop. “What, old man? That’s news to me. Is this common knowledge?” He sighed heavily. “It sounds terrible to admit out loud but all these years working together and I never inquired much into the Constable’s private life. Didn’t even realize he had one. I should have gotten to know him better...”

“I doubt he would have told you anything. Far as I can tell, he kept it pretty well hidden. That’s just how he was. I only know because, well, remember the Z’intarra? You saw how it affected him. Curzon came back to me with all these memories of ‘being’ Odo. Through Curzon, I experienced Odo’s joy in shapeshifting. I also experienced an echo of his feelings for a very specific Bajoran woman. Who ever she is, Odo loves her deeply.”

“He wouldn’t be able to keep something like that from the link if they operate how I think they do.”

“No. And if he misses her even half as much as I suspect he does…”

“The link itself would also start to miss her.” Sisko started to understand. “But then why is he in our infirmary refusing to take shape and not down on the planet? There’s something more going on.”

“Odo’s not sure of his welcome after leaving, maybe? We have to help him, Ben.” 

“You don’t know who she is?”

“I tried to ask him once or twice but never got very far. I think Curzon would recognize her if we saw her, but she’s no one I’ve ever seen on the station before.”

Sisko hesitated only slightly. “Okay. You have my permission to access the transmission logs from his terminal. If this woman exists, he had to have been corresponding with her somehow. Find out where his messages were being sent. Once we have a location, we’ll go from there.”

*

Kira frowned at Arin’s loud announcement that there were two Starfleet officers at the door looking for her. This couldn’t be good. Irritated, she slammed down the tray of hasperat and went to find out. 

“I’m Kira Nerys. What do you want?”

With a start, she recognized the Federation commander of Deep Space Nine. They’d never met, but his face was a familiar one on Bajor. Next to him was a spotted woman who must be the Trill that Odo had spoken about on occasion. He had liked her. For that matter, he had liked the Commander as well. 

The Trill broke into a large grin upon seeing Nerys. “This is her, Ben. I’m sure of it. Ma’am, we’re here about Odo…”

*

Kira didn’t bother to hide the grimace or the obvious tension in her shoulders as she stepped through the airlock onto the space station of her nightmares. She’d always refused Odo’s long standing invitation to come aboard. She hadn’t had to explain, he understood all too well her reluctance and never pushed. But here she was. 

To her relief, it was quickly evident that Deep Space Nine bore only a very superficial resemblance to the Terok Nor Kira remembered. The smell of burning ore, oppressive heat and general aura of misery and death was gone. The brightly lit colorful promenade was a confusing cultural mishmash but it was more Bajoran than anything. She could deal with this, her concern for Odo overriding all else. For him, for a second chance to make things right with the man she now knew she loved beyond all reason, Kira would have faced Terok Nor again and worse. With a determined stride, she followed the one called Dax down the corridor. 

In the infirmary, still in liquid form, Odo was perfectly aware of what was going on around him. It was selfish, childish even, but he didn’t have the energy to face his former co-workers. 

_At some point, they’ll stop watching so closely and l can turn into a vole or something and slip away before anyone realizes I’m gone. Or maybe I’ll just stay like this forever. How ironic. The link finally understands how I can love a solid, but it’s far too late. Prophets, I can hear her voice even now._

“Damnit Odo! Can you turn into a humanoid please? I mean, I don’t have a problem with you being like this and all but it would be helpful if… Damnit, we have some stuff we need to hash out and, well, it would be a lot easier if you were in a form that could talk back!”

 _Wait. That really is her voice. I’m not imagining things. She’s here._ Surprise cut through his mental agony. He didn’t know what to do, so he did nothing. 

“Fine,” she said a minute later when there was no response from the pool of changeling. “I’ll talk and you listen. I just hope you can hear me. Look, I don’t know how or why but the Prophets have returned you to me. I’m not letting you go this time without getting this out.” 

Odo’s substance rippled, but still he didn’t shift. Then he felt a tear fall and another, the salty liquid becoming a part of him. It was his undoing. She needed closure. In a way, so did he. He would let her berate him, kill him even. It was what he deserved.

With a rush, he stood before her. Kira immediately slapped him. Hard. Had he been anything but a changeling, the blow would have knocked him clear across the room. Then in the next instant she was throwing her arms around his neck.

He felt her small form racked with sobs shuddering against his. _You caused this Odo. You hurt her. Fix it, if you can._ Tentatively he wrapped his arms around her. Instead of pulling back as he half expected, she melted against him even more.

“Nerys?”

Her next words were so soft, muffled against his chest, that he barely heard her. “I can handle you being with your people if that’s where you want or need to be. What I can’t, haven’t, been able to handle, is your having left without knowing how much I love you.”


End file.
